The Upcoming
  • Culture
    • Art
    • Cinema & Tv
      • Movie reviews
      • Film festivals
      • Shows
    • Food & Drinks
      • News & Features
      • Restaurant & bar reviews
      • Interviews & Recipes
    • Literature
    • Music
      • Live music
    • Theatre
  • Fashion & Lifestyle
    • Accessories
    • Beauty
    • News & Features
    • Shopping & Trends
    • Tips & How-tos
    • Fashion weeks
  • What’s On
    • Art exhibitions
    • Theatre shows
  • Tickets
  • Join us
    • Editorial unit
    • Our writers
    • Join the team
    • Join the mailing list
    • Support us
    • Contact us
  • Interviews
  • Competitions
  • Special events
    • Film festivals
      • Berlin
      • Tribeca
      • Sundance London
      • Cannes
      • Locarno
      • Venice
      • London
      • Toronto
    • Fashion weeks
      • London Fashion Week
      • New York Fashion Week
      • Milan Fashion Week
      • Paris Fashion Week
      • Haute Couture
      • London Fashion Week Men’s
  • Facebook

  • Twitter

  • Instagram

  • YouTube

  • RSS

Fashion & Lifestyle

Festival fashion faux pas of summer 2013

Festival fashion faux pas of summer 2013
6 August 2013
Elizabeth Finney
Avatar
Elizabeth Finney
6 August 2013

We all know how important festival fashion is, so to help you out, we here at The Upcoming have devised a little rulebook of things to avoid. You’re welcome.

Om nom nom shorts

There are those in this world who insist on wearing bras that are too small, creating the horrendous four-boob overflow phenomenon. Now festival season is upon us, all we’ve been witnessing is the four-butt. Select shorts that at the very least, contain the whole of your butt-cheeks. When you’re wearing high-waisted shorts and your butt is falling out the bottom, it just looks like someone has done the cruelest wedgie ever.

Elaborate rave gear

Guys, a bikini is not appropriate clothing if you’re not near a vast body of water, fact. And those furry leg boot things? Just not practical in festival world. Let’s face it, the slutty yeti look should have disappeared from UK festivals a long time ago.

Full costume

It will be hilarious for maybe an hour. Then the mud will have crept up to your knees, there’ll be beers stains all down you and you’ll be hotter than the Sahara. In addition to this, everyone will try and steal part of said costume. Play it safer kids, and maybe go for something a little more chilled.

Too huge headdresses

You’re not a Native American, and nobody standing behind you will be able to see anything. Leave the feathers at home and go for a neat and compact little headband if you want to accessorise your festival look.

Crazy colourful… accessories…

You may think rolling around in a rainbow makes you look excellent, but we’re sorry, you just look a bit like you went crazy with £5 in Claire’s Accessories. You girls are better than that, so go for matching colours in jazzy prints instead.

Leotards going solo

We love leotards. They are perfect for festivals. Just don’t forget your shorts/trousers/leggings/any kind of bottom attire. No matter how amazing your bod is, don’t be that girl wandering around in JUST a leotard.

An abundance of fringe

A little bit of fringe is good. Great in fact. But when your whole outfit is homage to the fringing gods then you’re going to get into trouble. You’re going to get tangled with people whilst dancing around listening to acts, it’s going to rip and get trailed in mud and who knows what other floor substances.

“Hilariously” offensive tees

Come on guys. Tops with phrases such as “Easy F*ck” or “C*nt” written on them (both of which have been witnessed by yours truly) is the fashion version of second-hand smoking. We know this is going to blow your mind, but there are a lot of people in the world who don’t really like swearing that much. Keep it clean and remember, in the festival fashion rulebook, YOLO counts as an expletive. Seriously.

We apologize for the harsh truths, so here are some festival fashion winners. Keeping it simple works a charm, especially when you’re going to be slumming it in tents for several nights. Your staples are as follows:

Wellies – But not those silly ankle ones. They do nothing.

Denim shorts – Good ones go with everything.

An oversized shirt – Versatile for the UK’s crazy weather.

A pair of cheap plimsolls – Because flip-flops break, and don’t protect your feet from stomping moshers.

And finally, the optional favourite…

Obnoxiously round sunglasses. They’re just fabulous.

Elizabeth Finney

Related Items

More in Fashion & Lifestyle

Spotlight: Lauren Everet and Soup Kitchen London, striving for food security and social equality

Ezelle Alblas
Read More

15 mistakes newlyweds always make

The editorial unit
Read More

Ways to support Heart Month this February

Rebekah Absalom
Read More

10 romantic dresses for your Valentine’s night in

Sophie Cook
Read More

Five London areas to go for a romantic walk this Valentine’s weekend

Lilly Subbotin
Read More

The best beauty launches to treat yourself to this Valentine’s Day

Alexandra Davis
Read More

Valentine’s Day 2021: Gift guide for her

Rebekah Absalom
Read More

Interior design trends you’ll see everywhere in 2021

Sophie Cook
Read More

Six books perfect for beating the winter blues

Alexandra Davis
Read More
Scroll for more
Tap
  • Popular

  • Latest

  • TOP PICKS

  • I’m Your Man (Ich bin dein Mensch)
    ★★★★★
    Berlinale
  • Black Bear
    ★★★★★
    Film festivals
  • Celebrate International Women’s Day with a Bombay Sapphire Cocktails & Create masterclass
    Food & Drinks
  • Spotlight: Lauren Everet and Soup Kitchen London, striving for food security and social equality
    Food & Drinks
  • Bicep at Saatchi Gallery Online
    ★★★★★
    Live music
  • William the Conqueror – Maverick Thinker
    ★★★★★
    Album review
  • Ski (Esquí)
    ★★★★★
    Berlinale
  • Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy (Guzen to sozo)
    ★★★★★
    Berlinale
  • Petite Maman
    ★★★★★
    Berlinale
  • Celebrate International Women’s Day with a Bombay Sapphire Cocktails & Create masterclass
    Food & Drinks
  • Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy (Guzen to sozo)
    ★★★★★
    Berlinale
  • Moxie
    ★★★★★
    Movie review
  • Souad
    ★★★★★
    Berlinale
  • We (Nous)
    ★★★★★
    Berlinale
  • Bicep at Saatchi Gallery Online
    ★★★★★
    Live music
The Upcoming
Pages
  • Contact us
  • Join mailing list
  • Join us
  • Our London food map
  • Our writers
  • Support us
  • What, when, why

Copyright © 2011-2020 FL Media

Superstition: The new make-up collection by Chanel
August: must-have beauty buys