Heavy metal music: Now with added dog collars
Never let it be said that heavy metal is an anti-commercial movement. That was always a better way to describe punk. While punk is a rejection of the commercial mainstream, metal is and always has been about making money with the loudest music imaginable. If you want any evidence of that, all you need to do is look at the enormous amount of unusual merchandise associated with some of the biggest heavy metal bands of all time. We’ve seen official beers, official babygrows and even official cheeses connected to some of the most legendary names in the genre – and now we’ve seen something even stranger.
Within the past month, a new website called “Caninus Collars” has begun selling officially approved and licensed dog collars bearing the names and logos of several of rock and metal’s biggest bands. Just as you can take your pet pooch for a walk wearing your favourite band T-shirt, you can now dress your dog up to match with you for the duration of the walk. The list of bands who’ve chosen to participate almost reads like a who’s who of the past 40 years of metal. If this were a music festival lineup, the headline names would be Motorhead, Slayer and Judas Priest, but Motley Crue, Misfits, Madball and Sick Of It All have also decided to get in on the action.
In the case of Motorhead, we can perhaps make an allowance on the grounds that with iconic frontman Lenny passing away in 2015, they won’t be making any more revenue from new music. We’ve seen the band branch out into new areas in the years since his death, including an online game that comes with a jukebox featuring the band’s greatest hits. They’re not the only band who’ve partnered with online developers of this kind – you’ll also see games featuring the appearance and music of Guns n’ Roses, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, Megadeth and many more. It may seem like a niche interest, but millions of people all over the world play online games with mobile slot bonuses every week of every year. Whether there’s as large an audience of heavy metal-loving dog walkers out there remains to be seen – but Caninus Collars are going to find out.
The story behind the creation of Caninus Collars might be even stranger than the existence of the dog collars. Many years ago, the same two people who own and operate Caninus Collars weren’t involved in the pet retail industry at all – they were the only two human members of the rock band Caninus, who formed in 2001 and advertised themselves as the world’s first and only rock band to feature a dog as a lead singer. They released two albums, but unfortunately (and perhaps unsurprisingly), the idea never really caught on. They’ve now decided to focus on creating pet wear, and the collars might be the first wave of a whole range of music-themed pet accessories if the idea proves to be popular.
The company’s ultimate owner is Rachel Rosen, who aside from being in Caninus, has also been in several other metal and hardcore bands in the past, including Most Precious Blood. Aside from the collars, her company also currently offers harnesses, leads and dog bandanas all styled after the same theme. Rachel is very conscious of the fact that she’s launched her new product range in the middle of an enormous global pandemic – which is a classic case of bad timing – but on her company’s website, she’s at pains to point out that the creation and delivery of the collars are performed as safely as possible. All of the products are made by two people working on one sewing machine, and therefore the risks presented by their manufacture and delivery are minimal. If you’ve got a dog that you’re walking more often than usual at the moment (which goes for just about every dog owner in the world), this might be the best time to spruce up their summer look and let the world know what kind of music they prefer to listen to!
While heavy metal dog collars would have to be considered among the strangest pieces of band merchandise we’ve ever come across, we’d stop short of saying they’re the outright strangest. A quick search of the internet yields some truly baffling results, the most bizarre of which have been gathered together in one place here. In among the collection are official bricks from Eminem’s old house; headphones for cats designed by eccentric DJ Deadmau5; and an official light switch for your home bearing the logo of Metallica, featuring the slogan “exit light”. Slayer also makes an appearance on the list with a jaunty Christmas sweater. Given that the group have both Christmas sweaters and dog collars available, they’re probably a strong contender for the title of cuddliest heavy metal band of all time.
At the moment, no one is going to see any live music from their favourite performers for quite a long time. There are no concerts to go to or review. There’s very little new music being released at all because performers are mostly waiting for the crisis to pass before publishing their new material. Tours are on hold and the closest any of us are currently getting to hearing our favourite artists perform is the from-home live streams that some performers have turned to in the hope of keeping their fans entertained. Heavy metal-themed collars for dogs might not be big news under normal circumstances, but right now, any news at all is welcome as far as music goes. A Slayer, Motorhead, Judas Priest, or Motley Crue collar might not play any songs for you, but it’s another way for you to connect with and show your appreciation for your preferred metal band. At the same time, it makes your dog look cute and kooky for the sake of a few photos you can post on your social media accounts and amuse your friends. Right now, people are thankful for the small things that can put smiles on their faces – and these musical dog collars definitely fall into that category!
The editorial unit