The mistakes you should avoid when it comes to online dating
Everything appears to be done online now, including dating. No one has the time to meet someone face-to-face. Others prefer not to. Some of the people you meet face-to-face can be bad karma. It is ironic in a way. Most people do not mind meeting their friends out for dinner plans. However, when it comes to dating, they much prefer to stalk someone online. I guess in the digital age, everything done the old school way is considered passé.
Spoiler alert: You can still meet someone crazy online. They do a better job at hiding how crazy they are until the two of you meet.
To help you with your online search for your most eligible mate. Here are few suggestions to reduce the likelihood of you making the wrong choices.
Everyone is obsessed with pictures these days. There are a lot of people who have made their choice based on how someone looked. We have all done it. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
“I have never actually had this conversation, but come on. How many times have you chosen someone based on how they looked. We have all done it. They appear to be normal. Cut to two weeks later when you have an axe murderer living in your house.” Madonna, 2003
Physicality plays a big role in our decision-making process. However, it should not be the determining factor. The person might be beautiful on the outside, but a complete mess inside. You are setting yourself for disappointment when you choose based on the image.
What happens when the two of you are together? What happens when they start with their annoying habits, the ones you say do not bother you, but who are we kidding, they do. Will his good-looks save your relationship? Doubtfully.
From the boardroom to the bedroom
Some begin a relationship on nothing more than lust. How long do you think that is going to last? Most relationships that begin with lust will crash and burn after a while. The two of you may be having the best sex of your life, but your relationship will fizzle out
You have to think and act more mature when it comes to the online profile. The good looks are going to carry you just so far.
The last thing you want to do is obsess over every detail, including the person’s likes and dislikes. You might have a few things in common online, but it takes more than that to make a genuine connection.
“Details of your incompetence do not interest me.”
“Please bore someone else with your questions.” Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada, 2006
The guy probably lives in another place and time. The guy mentions that he lives in London. That is cool, but what does that mean for the bigger picture? Are you prepared to move to London for a crush? Are you willing to risk everything you have over some guy who may not feel the same way you do?
The two of you might have a lot in common online, but that should be taken with a grain of salt. You can be anything you want online. Online gives you the freedom to say and do things you would never do to someone’s face, therefore dating people from different countries have become so popular.
Furthermore, people like the anonymity that the online community gives them, especially with dating. You can pretend to be interested in someone, but you know full well it is not going to work out.
In other words: You might be feeling more for them than they do for you. Try to keep everything in perspective.
Does the carpet match the drapes?
Does the tone of the profile match up to what your mind is seeing? Some profiles convey arrogance and bitterness without realising it. Did the person join at the request of their friend? I would not get too involved then.
That tells me the person has a problem with being honest regarding his true intentions. It also tells me that he has another agenda that he will not admit. Tones like that should not be ignored.
It is particularly difficult to identify who is behind of the online profile when dating a foreign woman, particularly from Eastern Europe (Russia and Ukraine). This dating niche is known for its scammers and pro-daters. That’s why it is important to learn all aspects of online dating and contact a professional dating and matchmaking company (find more information in this guide).
The passive-aggressive guy
A friend of mine started talking with this guy online. The guy appeared to be cool in the beginning. It seemed like the two had some things in common. However, the guy got weird when his friend mentions something harmless as “having a connection.”
He meant it in a friendship way, but the guy took it the wrong way. He got weird. He started distancing himself from my friend. He laid all the connection on my friend without taking responsibility for his part. My friend does not talk to him anymore.
In other words: Some people are very passive-aggressive. They will place any feelings the two of you have on you, thus providing a nice loophole.
You should learn to read between the lines with online profiles. Does the guy talk extensively about himself? Does the girl always need to be complimented? Does the guy or girl make it all “about them” even online? These are signs that something is wrong.
They are not going to admit that they do anything. That it is why it is up to you to make the choice to walk away.
There are other people online who you can chat with. Nice and normal does exist. You just have to dig a little deeper. Talk to them. Remember to always air on the side of caution. Most people do not reveal who they truly are until it is too late to get out. These tips can help you be more proactive now, so you save yourself time and heartache later.
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