We Didn’t Come to Hell for the Croissants at Riverside Studios

A show that will leave audiences thinking “What the hell did I just watch?!” – but in a really good way – We Didn’t Come to Hell for the Croissants is a set of seven short stories by different writers, each themed around one of the seven deadly sins. They are performed by one of the stories’ writers, Jemma Kahn, in the Japanese style of kamishibai (paper theatre), which may make this sound like it’s going to be stuffy, pretentious nonsense but is actually anything but.

Kahn’s performance, combined with the little wooden box where she cycles through different illustrated cards to help tell the stories, is thoroughly delightful. It is impossible to imagine many performers could rise to the challenge. Comic timing is everything throughout. And Kahn gets it right every time.

Besides meeting the brief – to reference a sin and make the audience wet themselves with laughter – every story is utterly different. All the cards have been illustrated by different artists in different styles: there’s a song about some fruit; there’s a silent story told only through the illustrations; there’s a ditty about a disgustingly wealthy cat; there’s a very graphic description of a threesome that takes place over dinner.

The writing is deliciously clever. Few writers can have the unique superpower to be able to make a monologue about linguistics be both incredibly funny and incredibly creepy all at the same time. Every story is a highlight, making for 70 minutes of pure entertainment followed by hours of wondering what on Earth those writers were smoking. 

Without a doubt, this is a show that everyone will enjoy (just don’t take your parents), and if that isn’t convincing, maybe this line from Riverside Studios (perhaps the best promotional line for a show ever) will: “Everyone who wrote a story for We Didn’t Come to Hell for the Croissants has gone on to win a Pulitzer. Or gone to jail.”

Jim Compton-Hall

We Didn’t Come to Hell for the Croissants is at Riverside Studios from 20^th January until 4^th February 2023. For further information or to book visit the theatre’s website here.