Time to change your online dating habits?

15^th June 2015

The editorial unit

The editorial unit

15 June 2015

Some of us have been on the online dating circuit for what may feel like forever. Others may be entirely new to it. Whether you’ve tried all the obvious routes and are becoming tired of not making any meaningful matches, or you’re just setting up your first profile, there are a few small changes you can make to increase your chances of finding a good match.

Let a loved one do the hard work for you

A drastic but effective move can be to relinquish all initial responsibility. Let someone who cares about you do the matchmaking. If you’ve had a terrible time on the online dating circuit maybe it’s because you’re picking the wrong people. A loved one will likely be discerning in their choices for you and have the potential to find an ideal match.

Newly popular sites are an easy way to let a friend or family member to do the matchmaking for you.Some have even been popular with grown-up children finding partners for their single parents (and the other way around) – but these sites can be used for all manner of family members and friends.

Getting a friend to matchmake for you also takes away some of the fear out of taking the first step.

Avoid quick swipe “hook-up” apps

Tinder is a great app when it works for you. But if all the fun you get out of it is swiping and doing some Facebook picture stalking, it is really for you? Similar quick rate apps will likely also give you the same results.

It’s all too easy to fall into a pattern of unsuccessful and disappointing dates because so called hook-up apps don’t give daters what they need. Apart from the expectation from many users that you’re looking for a bedroom date, you won’t have much information to go on.

This means you could easily end up on a date with nothing to say and expectations that instantly shatter. Matching people based on superficial impressions rather than interests and personalities will naturally result in far more superficial connections on dates. If you’re looking for a relationship this kind of match is unlikely to end well.

The answer for those tired of location based dating apps is free online dating sites, like OKCupid. OkCupid is one of the better free options, though by no means glitch or hitch free. What makes it useful for the date-weary is that it uses percentages to match you. By comparing your answers to various questions, it aims to point you in the direction of people who you’ll have enough in common with to start a conversation. Your scores will also warn you about matching with those you may be completely incompatible with.

Have an adventurous date

Perhaps it’s not how you find your date but what you do on the date that needs rethinking. Consider some of these adventurous and imaginative dates – don’t always stick to coffee or drinks or dinner. Think outside of the box. Talking is a great way of getting to know someone, but doing something interesting and unusual could teach you a lot about your date you wouldn’t learn over a simple chat.

Swap cafe lunches for trips to city farms or go for drinks at the circus. Why not take a dance class or a cooking lesson? It’s important to be safe in a date environment but that doesn’t mean you should do the same thing in the same places. By switching it up, even if you don’t find “the one” you’ll still leave with the memory of a fun afternoon or evening rather than feeling like you’ve wasted time.

Lower your expectations

Not every date will be perfect – but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself. If you go out with someone who is evidently not for you then it’s no disaster, it’s an experience. Consider failed dates valuable lessons in love and life. You need to

Often we need to first learn what we don’t want before we can know what we actually need.

And if, after the first date they don’t call back, remember: sometimes the world will not end. If somebody doesn’t message you back, consider your search narrowed to one fewer fish in the sea.

The editorial unit