Maggie’s and Michaeljohn’s Big Hair 80s Night in Chelsea

“Luxurious Knightsbridge beauty institution” Michaeljohn welcomed in London Fashion Week last night with 80s themed makeovers at Maggie’s in Chelsea.

Bizarrely adorned throughout with tacky memorabilia as an homage to the 80s – primarily to Margaret Thatcher, God rest her soul – the club itself is a Rubik’s cube nightmare, one which would have you immediately lamenting the £15 you paid to enter. There’s no denying the theme is strictly adhered to though as the toilets glint every sorry angle of yourself back to you in a mirror ball of undeniability.

The classic Chelsea welcome revealed makeover stations that promised giant hair-dos, bold eyes and neon nails that turned everyone there from semi-respectable humans to Barbie/Chihuahua hybrids on speed. With a clever neon pop French manicure on one hand and a vodka juice cocktail in the other (which would normally set you back a pretty penny), this was an exercise in not making a fool of yourself, and failing miserably.

Essie varnishes and Mac make-up were slathered on enthusiastically by the clearly keen stylists. The make-up counters were set up quite tightly, meaning an awkward climb over everyone to reach the various stations, but the mercifully short queues were dealt with swiftly and with a smile. Selfies abounded.

Less luxurious than one might have expected, but at least a whole lots of laughs, Mario, Michael Jackson and plenty of crimping put in an appearance. This was the 80s imagined by a bunch of people who never even saw that decade, except perhaps the tail-end of 89, but one feels that’s not quite the same thing.

Brash, bonkers and downright bizarre, Lady Thatcher would have been turning in her grave. They said go big or go home, so we went home.

Georgia Mizen