The Nutcracker Noir at Protein Studios

When you think of the theatre at Christmas, what comes to mind is perhaps Sleeping Beauty, Dick Whittington, and, of course, The Nutcracker. In the vast warehouse space that is Protein Studios in Shoreditch, theatrical legends Richard Crawford and Gary Lloyd have built a festive, flamboyant, yet somewhat farcical world, involving a show and five course dinner.

Upon entering The Nutcracker Noir, you are greeted with a welcome drink and snack. Then, as you make your way through various rooms, you are introduced to the myriad of characters with whom you will spend the evening, from Clara, the whimsical choreographer of this new show, to Eldar, a magical elf. Though at first the concept feels slightly delirious, when you relax and succumb to the silliness of an immersive experience, the result is a delightful evening, bolstered by a talented cast of West End performers.

It is hard not to become immersed in the world of Nutcracker Noir when the cast and serving staff are so committed. Each character seems to have a deep understanding of the nuances of their backstories, and the energy of the performers is entirely infallible. The choreography mixes ballet and jazz, with nods to waacking, vogueing, and moments of commercial, masterfully delivered by the ensemble. The catering staff are friendly and attentive, joyfully engaging with moments of audience interaction in a manner that is infectious.

The menu, put together by Jenny McNeill (previously of Gingerline and The Fat Duck), is fantastic, with courses including slow-braised beef cheek with a smoky BBQ reduction, and Basque cheesecake with a sugar plum coulis. Vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free and dairy-free diets can also be catered for with prior notice. A particular highlight was the vegetarian main – a spiced cauliflower steak with creamy mash and roasted vegetables – sublime.

The attention to detail within the experience is extremely endearing. It seems every little thing, from the colour of gemstones on costumes, to the posters on the walls of the corridors, has been considered. The real Christmas trees in the venue are the cherry on top (or perhaps, star?) of the effortful production.

If you are looking for a moving festive night akin to a screening of It’s a Wonderful Life, The Nutcracker Noir is unlikely to fill this void. However, for an evening of fabulous costumes, talented performers, delicious food and wintery cocktails (the “Royal Waltz” was an absolute standout), this is the experience for you. After all, what is Christmas if not the time for lighthearted, kitschy fun?

Emilia Gould
Photo: Courtesy of Protein Studios

The Nutcracker Noir is at Protein Studios until 21^st December 2025. For further information or to book, visit the theatre’s website here.